MarketingInsideOut.com

Have you ever read something over and over and over again and still had to ask…”what the heck does that mean?”  As if some massive garbled filter has turned it into incomprehensible pap.

Granted we are an industry with our own jargon, but some take it way over the top to an art form.  Recently, I read a document written by one of the top brand consultancies and all I could do was shake my head.  And to think people pay a lot of money…

It’s rampant, in every industry.  But there’s hope. Bullshit now has a number. And you now have the power to calculate it with this handy little tool that lets you know if your document is full of it. 

Bullfighter — originally produced by Deloitte Consulting but now distributed as a freeware product comes with a jargon database and an exclusive Bull Composite Index. 
 

In Sunday’s New York Times business section, R/GA chief Bob Greenberg outlines why he believes that in order to cut through the clutter, advertising needs to be shaken up, and shaken up immediately. While this isn’t the first I’ve read of his point of view, this one goes in a bit of a different direction. His point is that many agencies are so tethered to a 30-second TV spot mentality because it’s the basis of their financial model. Are :30 spots fossilizing and are the companies that foot the advertising bills increasingly aware of it? Worth a read.

So you want to choose an ad agency. How? You’d think there’d be a clear easy way – but apparently not. Most start by creating a long, laborious, redundant and thoroughly bureaucratic document called an RFP or request for proposal. At least a 1/3rd of the questions are written in a way to elicit responses of no use whatsoever, in the selection process, or in any process for that matter. The main purpose of the RFP appears to be a test to ensure that the agency is able to withstand massive amounts of torture. Once written this document is distributed to somewhere between 15 to 150 ad agencies almost anywhere on the globe. There is a steadfast deadline and many an agency has crumbled when their document reaches the appointed desk at 12:05 pm – the deadline was 12:00 pm. No kidding – they’re that anal! You’d think the future of the free world depends on it.

Once the completed RFP has been submitted to the prospective client it immediately goes to a nearby credenza where it sits – forever. Oh no, no one ever actually reads it. But somehow, the agency list is reduced and the finalists are selected. Time for more torture.

Now the agency has to put together a huge presentation – the “dog and pony show” that forces every department in the agency into producing work based on a brief outline prepared by some liaison at the client company – with little or no input from their key players. Sometimes the client company will compensate the agency for some of this work – but that’s pretty rare. Yes, usually we’re asked to do about 6 weeks of work for a chance to get up and present during the same week (or day) as the three to six other contenders – for nothing. Now many of us are seasoned presenters – but let’s face it – we don’t have all the facts – we’re workin’ in a vacuum. We’ve planted a stake in the ground based on very little knowledge and we’re goin’ for it. So now we have to get up and present our “recommendations” to a group of people who know this company inside out – do we look stupid? What do you think?

Once we’re done we writhe in agony waiting for the Q&A. Here’s where they ask questions like: Why would you focus all of your media dollars on 4th quarter when we decided 10 years ago that we would never run 4th quarter media? Good question.

So now we sit and wait for the verdict – and if we win the process was brilliant, these clients are geniuses and we’re lucky to have found each other. But if we don’t…

The American Dream. Everyone can agree on its fundamental promise: if you have a great idea or an incomparable talent and dedicate yourself to its promotion, you can earn untold fame and fortune.

In 1996, Google’s founders were in a doctoral program at Stanford University. They’re currently worth more than $7 billion each. Before 2002, Kelly Clarkson was a cocktail waitress. Then she won American Idol, and she hasn’t delivered a chocolate martini tableside since.

But what happens if you don’t develop the next whizbang new-media outlet or can’t sell records to millions of American teens and tweens? That’s where there seems to have been a fundamental shift over the last several decades.

Now, I wasn’t around during the Eisenhower years. In fact, I didn’t have a desk job until the Clinton Administration. So my theory comes out of historical review and not personal experience. But after the Second World War, at least, there seemed to be an unspoken clause in the Contract of the American Dream that said: “If you’re not the next Sinatra or Rockefeller, don’t worry. All you have to do is work hard for eight hours a day, five days a week, and you’ll still live comfortably. You can buy a new car every few years. You can have a house and a family. You can go to Disney World. And you’ll die a happy American with a pension.” (I realize, of course, that this was true primarily just for white men, but hear me out.)

That’s where we were fifty years ago. For nearly four decades, there was a slow erosion of that unwritten promise. Then came the Internet and globalization. And now we’re in the first decade of the new millennium, where pensions are a thing of the past, eight hours of work is simply a good start to the day and you can easily run up a tab of more than $15,000 for a Disney vacation for a family of four. (Assuming you can find time for vacation, much less cough up the cost of a Hyundai with not much to show for it but sore feet and a couple of mouse-ear yarmulkes.)

Which brings me to my point. The American Dream has persisted — if not in actuality, at least in perception — for generations. But the generation that’s now entering the workforce seems to be the first to figure out that the Dream has changed, that there really isn’t a safety net if you don’t succeed big and fast. And this seems to have caused a certain sense of desperation. The dot-com bust, 9/11 and the following economic unease sealed the deal for these kids.

In advertising and design, this has led to an odd trend that I’ve noticed over the last few years. More and more kids are “slash” graduates — copywriter/designers, public relations/account service, designer/art directors, account service/account planning/copywriters. Their cover letters and interviews are unfocused in their purpose and passion. They just want a job, and they’ll be anything you need to become gainfully employed.

This is perfect for unfocused agencies. They get cheap labor in whatever department is lacking. (“Damn the precision communications objectives for the client. Let’s just keep a solid bottom line.”) But what happens in fifteen years when that recent graduate is now in their late 30s and still running traffic, playing account service and occasionally writing a terrible headline? They have no future. Not in a solid agency environment.

This is not an industry that allows a shotgun approach to talent. It takes years of practice, determination and mentoring to grasp the importance of your individual role in what is ultimately a huge process. Yes, you need to see the entire process to fully understand your role. You just can’t be the entire process.

As I’ve said, a certain desperation on the part of today’s job seekers is partially to blame. But an even larger part of the blame rests with those who are sending these kids into the world unprepared — their college professors. Advertising is an ever-evolving industry. What worked today will leave you penniless tomorrow. Unfortunately, most advertising programs are staffed with people who either couldn’t make it in the real world or who’ve been out of the game too long to understand or familiarize themselves with the daily changes that effect marketing strategy in the Too-Much-Information Age. Today’s slash graduates are the result. Who else would tell these future professionals that they’re more likely to get a job if they know a little of everything instead of a lot of one thing?

That’s not how it works. Unfortunately, many graduates are finding that out after spending more than a hundred grand on their education. Even more unfortunate is that some of them will only discover it after fifteen years of working as an account executive/media planner/copywriter.