MarketingInsideOut.com

T0: Louis Lips, Chief Executive, Faux Pas Corp.
FROM: Hubie Ware, Media Specialist, CYA Advisors Inc.
RE: On The Subject of Off The Record

Thank you for choosing CYA Advisors. We hope the following suggestions are helpful as you prepare for your interview with Jugular Journal.

First, we recommend you abandon your strategy of conducting the entire interview off the record. Not a good idea. It is highly unlikely the program’s producers will agree to this approach, plus it’s never advisable to go off the record with reporters. Consider the case of Kathleen Gingrich, the 68-year-old mother of then House speaker Newt Gingrich. She thought she was off the record back in the mid-‘90s when CBS co-anchor Connie Chung asked her what her son thought of First Lady Hillary Clinton. “Why don’t you just whisper it to me, just between you and me,” Chung cajoled. To which Mrs. Gingrich delivered her now famous sound bite “Bitch” which aired on every national news program in North America and overseas.

Another off the record comment ended the 39-year career Oklahoma University baseball coach last year after TV announcers reported his use of a racial slur while describing one of his star players. No cameras were present and no notes were taken, so the coach figured he was just having a friendly chat with the announcers, but there was nothing friendly about the news account that led to his resignation.

Just remember to narrow your focus, keep your answers positive and concise, and deliver them with passion using analogies and personal experience. And whatever you do, don’t ad lib. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin may have written his political obituary with his recent unscripted comment: “This city will be chocolate at the end of the day.” Unless you want your face ending up on a novelty tee-shirt, stay on message and on the record.

Follow these tips and you should be fine.

• Keep focused on the reporter.
• Don’t be defensive or argue with the reporter.
• Never say “No comment.”
• Restate key messages.
• If you start to make a mistake, stop and start over.
• If you can’t answer the question, say so.
• Answer the question the way you want it answered.

The Marlboro Man now qualifies for membership in the AARP. That’s a shocker. Not that advertising icons ever age. Who would guess that Aunt Jemima and the Michelin Man (aka Bibendum) are both centenarians.. And has the Jolly Green Giant really been watching over his valley since 1928?

You can love ‘em, or you can hate ‘em, but you can’t deny the impact these famous characters have had on generations of consumers, turning unknown brands into household names. Who ever heard of Aflac before the Duck, or Keebler before the Elves? When you hear “They’re Grrrreat!” or “Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz” who comes to mind?

Many icons enjoy rock star status commanding big bucks from collectors. Some have their own Web sites including Mr. Peanut (www.peanutpals.org,), Morris the cat (www.9lives.com/lounge.aspx) and Smokey Bear (www.smokeybear.com). And recently, ground was broken in Kansas City for a new 12,000-square-foot Advertising Icon Museum complete with a Walk of Fame. Look for a 2007 grand opening.

For every superstar, however, there are those icon wannabes who never made it to prime time. Elsie of Borden dairy products fame used to have three sidekicks named Mrs. Blossom, Bessie and Clara who quickly faded into obscurity. Can anyone recall Katy the Kangaroo, Newt the Gnu and Elmo the Elephant who once shared the spotlight with Tony the Tiger?

But the nice thing about advertising icons is even underachievers can succeed. Who else but an icon could build a 45-year career based entirely on receiving the same notice of rejection – “Sorry, Charlie”?

Are you freakin’ kidding me?  How about – Have a happy period. Ever?  I mean come on.  And then at the end of the TV spot the sanitary pad turns into a little lawn chair.  I find it kind of analogous to “What do you say we take this death thing and turn it into a party?”  There are just some things that are sacrosanct.

Now that’s not to say that we can’t be happy when we have our “period”.  But the period is not a happy thing.  It’s not happy when we feel unsanitary and messy – and we do.  It’s not happy when we have to mete out our bathroom trips to ensure that we don’t start to leak – which we all have.  And it, for sure, is not happy when we are experiencing those bone crushing cramps that make us double over and put us into a cold sweat.  Granted, not everyone gets those – but for those of us who do whoever created the “happy” campaign should start to run – now.

Inconveniences aside, it’s also not happy when you’re praying that this time you really will be pregnant – and you get your period.  And rest assured it’s not happy when you are pregnant – and you get your period.  Because sometimes that’s a very bad thing.  I suppose you could say that there’s a moment of happiness during those times when “the condom broke” and you finally get your period.  But I’m pretty sure it’s not the joy of experiencing the actual physical condition that has you doing cartwheels. 

So I have to ask – did these people do any market research?  Did they talk to any consumers?  I’m gonna have to say no.  Because during my lifetime I’ve talked to lot’s of women about their periods – and never have I heard anything remotely like “Have a happy period.”  Not ever!  And it is my educated guess that this campaign is doing more to piss women off than to intrigue them about the merits of the Always product line.  Now it is a form of brand recognition – but from my vantage point the call to action might as well suggest a product boycott.  Is that really helping?   

There are those women who think that the period is a beautiful and natural manifestation of our womanhood.  Well that’s just a load of crap!  Womenhood is beautiful – but the inconveniences are just that.  Do these Always people think that we are so easily lead that if they say a period is happy – we’ll believe it?  Show me some proof!  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I might even have been guilty of launching into a sexist assumption that the campaign was concepted by a man – but I read it was a woman.  That just floored me.  I want to read that strategy brief!  I’m just shocked that she hasn’t been skewered by the press – who seem to be pussyfooting around this campaign for some reason that’s beyond me.  Because, frankly, I’d volunteer to light the bar-b-que! (Here’s someone else who skewered it…here)

So if we’re going with the assumption that if something is stated in print – it must be so I’d like to offer this thought.  The next time you overindulge on the food and wine “Have a happy bout of diahhrea.  Always.”