MarketingInsideOut.com

To:  Bob N. Head, President, Bobble Dolls, Inc.

From:  M.T. Noggin, Tchotchke Consultants, LLC

Subject:  Can’t Miss Opportunity

As the world’s largest manufacturer of bobble head collectibles, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the potential for what I’m about to propose. Not since Brandi Chastain’s famous victory celebration sans jersey in 1999 () has a soccer player left such a lasting impression. Zinedine Zidane’s head butt during this year’s World Cup was the coup de maître that’s led to a feeding frenzy among journalist around the world. This story has “legs,” Bobby. The front page story in this morning’s Wall Street Journal calls Zidane’s header: “…the most gripping global sporting drama of the moment.” Newspapers are hiring lip readers to figure out what insult the Italian player used to make Zidane flip his lid. Songs have been written and the head butt is the top watched video on You Tube. People can’t get enough of it.

What I’m proposing is the official Zinedine Zidane butting head doll. We’re talking interactive here Bobby. Instead of just bobbing, this action figure has a voice-activated mechanism that will automatically trigger its head-butting motion. And it works in any language. It also has a built-in motion sensor that turns it off when you wave the red flag that we’ll package along with a manual of verbal insults in 10 different languages. I’ve already started working on product endorsements from the Sons of Italy, the World Championship Wrestling Federation and the Congress of Neurological Surgeons.

The kids will love it, Bobby. And just think of the spin-off possibilities. Butting head TV celebrities, such as Barbara Walters and Star Jones. Butting head geeks (MAC vs. PC loyalists). And butting head politicians – just in time for the 2008 presidential primaries. We’re in the era of the anti-hero, Bobby. It’s like Star Wars creator and director George Lucas told Rolling Stone last year: “People like villains because they’re powerful and they don’t worry about the rules.” And Lucas should know. He created the all-time movie villain and pop culture icon – Darth Vader. Move over Vader – “Zidane has scored.”

In the universe of world record holders, the name Takeru Kobayeshi holds rock star status as the six-time winner of the annual hot dog eating competition held (where else) but Coney Island on Brooklyn’s seashore. His new record: 53 ¾ hot dogs downed in 12 minutes (hold the mustard, please), marks another chapter in the epicurean record book that includes such feats of gluttony as 331 crawfish in 12 minutes, 6 pounds of SPAM in 12 minutes, 13.22 pounds of watermelon in 15 minutes, 46 dozen oysters in 10 minutes, 11 pounds of cheesecake in 9 minutes and 17.7 pounds of pan-seared cow brains in 15 minutes.

Among the All-Stars in the Indigestion Hall of Fame is Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas who once put Cool Hand Luke to shame by downing 65 hard boiled eggs in just over 6 ½ minutes (it took Mr. Luke an hour to eat 50). Then there’s Eric “Badlands” Booker whose specialty is pies and matzo balls. And a favorite among Nebraska Cornhuskers is Joe LaRue who polished off 34 ears of sweet corn in 12 minutes. These competitive eaters participated in more than 80 national contests last year attracting media coverage from CNN, BBC, NBC Nightly News, The Today Show, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Sports Illustrated, FHM Magazine, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian Magazine, and Time magazine.

Much of the credit for the growing success of the “eating circuit” goes to the care and feeding provided by savvy PR pros and the International Federation of Competitive Eating, which organizes and publicizes most of the major contests. Given the growing popularity of these culinary contests and their colorful characters, a reality TV series would seem inevitable. Imagine the drama of “The Black Widow” going one-on-one against “Badlands” in the “Kolache Challenge of the Century,” or envision Cookie Jarvis in a face-off against Crazy Legs Conti in the “Rutabaga Rumble.” Consider the list of potential advertisers ready to gobble up sponsorship of such a series: Alka-Selzer, Pepto Bismol, Tums and Rolaids. And how about potential series titles: “Gulping Gourmets,” “No Guts, No Glory,” or “Everyone Loves Ravoili.”

The only thing worse than not marketing your goods and services is marketing them and then not following up with interested customers.

Case in point: the house we bought three years ago is wonderful — except for the front yard landscaping. The former owners paved the borders of the yard with river stones that are now are infested with an ugly assortment of noxious weeks. I am not a gardener. In fact, my neighbors have suggested that I’m actually an “apartment dweller” trapped in the body of a homeowner. Weary of their withering glances as they pass my house, I decided to find a competent, affordable landscaping service.  A few days later, I  found a bright blue leaflet in a plastic bag on my driveway. It was from Steve – “Landscape artist. 8 Years Experience. Affordable. No job too small or too big.” My prayers had been answered.  I called Steve that very night. He asked if I could call back and leave a message on his voice mail, since he was on another project. I did, urging him to come by and give me an estimate. A day passed, then two and three. I called Steve again. He apologized, asked where I lived and said he’d be by that Wednesday. No problem, I would be traveling until Friday. I returned, but there was no estimate from Steve. No phone message. And lots more weeds in the front yard. This week, I’ll look for another landscape “artist”.  Steve spent some hard-earned money on the flyers, the bags, and—ironically—the river stone he inserted in the bags to keep them from blowing away on his marketing effort.  Still, the message he ultimately sent me was that he really doesn’t need my business.

How many of us cast our marketing “stones” into potential customers’ paths only to ignore the call that could lead to a sale?