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Announced today, after Roehm’s ouster, the $580 million account in back in review and DraftFCB can’t play.

You gotta wonder what level of denial the folks at Hallmark are living in, as it seems the saccharine sweetness of their rose-colored world has completely overcome any form of marketing reality. Their latest holiday commercial foists “The Very Merry Trio” upon the American public in a laughably bad way.

The Very Merry Trio is Hallmark’s newest addition to the overflowing archives of ungodly annoying and useless singing and dancing character products, spawned by the success of crap like Billy Bass and the Caddyshack dancing gopher. It’s the sort of product only small children and the very elderly/deaf can appreciate.

Hallmark’s 30-second ode to bad taste opens with an airline employee announcing a two-hour flight delay to a room full of people who, thankfully, have already been through security and relieved of potential weapons. Or have they?

What happens next is unthinkable. A woman pulls one of these demonic musical monsters out of her bag and turns it on to “spread holiday cheer”. There is absolutely no regard for the people sleeping, working, or those who are slowly stewing, their potentially murderous rage at being stuck in an airport simmering just beneath the surface. Even her children are sitting quietly, which anyone who has ever been in an airport gate lounge can tell you Just. Does. Not. Happen.

The Hallmark people would have us believe that everyone gathers around to bask in the warm glow of this monstrosity, which features two penguins, a snowman and a flashing Christmas tree. Everyone has a wonderful time watching the penguins jauntily shake their jinglebell-festooned butts as the snowman sings, and the tree lights flash. In fact, we’re supposed to believe that it’s such a grand time, the pesky two-hour delay just flies by. The Very Merry Trio is so mesmerizing, that when the airline employee calls out for boarding, no one can tear away from watching this modern masterpiece. Riiiight.

Hallmark, I ask you this: what planet do you believe we live on? Because I can tell you one thing, in the everyday world, this woman would be in severe danger of being strangled on the spot. And I’d be first in line.

Way cool! From Ads of the World:

Playing with the smooth aspect of eggshells, eggboxes in Brussels were taken in hand by the Wilkinson Quattro Titanium. The masculine faces on the eggs were printed on transparent stickers and then stuck to the eggs. An advertising flyer with a promotion on the back was put in every box.

Agency: JWT, Brussels