MarketingInsideOut.com

There’s nothing like a great cup of coffee.  I prefer the stronger, more tart flavors, like some of those from Sumatra, Guatemala and a few from Brazil. After reading some online reviews, I recently ordered Hacienda La Esmeralda from Panama and while it was wonderful, at over $100 a pound, it’s a rare purchase for me. My fall back is generally Café du Monde’s chicory coffee because I like a strong cup of coffee and I can usually get it at one of the specialty stores in town.

The problem is that I’m not a morning person, so it takes everything in my power to get out of the house at a decent hour so I’m not late to work.  Hence I rarely have time to make coffee in the morning.  And that sludge that comes out of the machine at our office is horrific, so I often stop at Starbucks on my way into the office.

This morning, I needed a caffeine hit badly, but I was late and there were 10 cars in line at the Starbucks drive through.  As I sighed, I glanced over at McDonalds next door and saw there were only 2 cars in line.  Crap.  I needed the hit, but I hadn’t ordered a cup of coffee at McD’s for years.  I’d seen all the advertising about their coffee, so what the hell…I swung around and pulled into McDonalds.

Much to my surprise, the coffee was better than I anticipated. Much better. Maybe my expectations were very low, or maybe I’ve been influenced by the advertising, but I can honesty say I’d do it again.  And that realization surprised me, because I don’t do McDonalds.  And haven’t since my kids were in grade school and demanded their McNuggets.

Maybe there is something to all the hype.

That’s right.  40 years ago today.  Who knew?  I certainly didn’t.  So I read this SF Gate story with interest.  Think about it…40 years ago.  Back when Gates was 12 and Jobs was 13. 

“The Dec. 9, 1968, unveiling of the primitive device with a mouse and interactive screen – in a now-legendary demonstration by its inventor, Douglas Engelbart of the Stanford Research Institute – drew a rousing, standing ovation from the computing cognoscenti who recognized the significance of what they had just seen.”

And check this out.  The first mouse.  Some cool images at CNET.

Your ads are awesome.  They define cool.  We all want to shop there – who wouldn’t?  But does the in-store experience pay off your brand promise?  It just dawned on me – I don’t think it does.

When I watch your ads I think – I could get all my gifts, all my fun accents, all my clothes/shoes/jewelry etc. in this, the coolest of places.  And that would make me cool – right?  Hell it might even make me young and cool.  Can’t beat that.

But then I go into the store (and the one nearest me is a new SuperTarget) and it kind of falls flat.  Oh the greeting card section is awesome (Hallmark should take note) and I could laugh my head off.  And the “notions” are usually pretty cool.  But then I head into women’s clothing and lingerie – and dammit – I’m in K Mart.  Sorry, but it had to be said.  And when I wander into their limited furniture section – I wonder why table joints that meet are a rarity, i.e. we’re not talking top quality here – and it shows.  I think cool requires some level of quality.

Now let’s talk service.  And we’re still in K Mart.  When I try on women’s clothing I have to interrupt the dressing room attendant in her personal conversation and navigate past an explosion of random (recently tried on) garments to fight my way into the hideously lighted and fun house mirrored sterile white cubicles that are guaranteed to make me look like a body that floated up in a polluted lake.  Now I ask you – is that cool?  I think we’re starting to see a pattern here.

But what surprises me the most is that we’re all buying into what the ads are telling us.  Even my own revelation was very recent.  I was talking to my partner, a very savvy marketer – and someone who is fooled by nothing.  The subject of Target arose and I noticed her eyes glaze over in a happy mist as she contemplated a trip to the great land of “Oz”.  And as I sat there watching her, it dawned on me that my own experience does not elicit a similar response.   In fact each visit to target has historically found me wondering what I was doing to make me feel as though I’d taken a wrong turn and ended up in – you guessed it – K Mart.  And now I have the answer – it’s not me – it’s Target and the Kool-Aid that they’ve managed to foist on an unsuspecting public.  Oh Target, I’m a little disappointed – but undeniably impressed.

I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s – so I “get” Brand Loyalty. I mean we had a choice. Coke OR Pepsi – not both. We had corporations coming at us from all directions cramming their brands down our throats and demanding loyalty. And we gave them our all. But were they laughing in our faces?

So many brands spent millions, even billions, of dollars to ensure our loyalty – and then, so often, they would change the very things that sucked us in in the first place. The most rampant emotional consumer abuse is unquestionably within the cosmetic and fragrance industry. They lure you in with the promise of making you glamorous and alluring. You fall in love with the products that work best with your coloring and personal scent. You get hooked. You’re able to rationalize any increase in cost because you’re jones’in for the “stuff” that makes you feel so good. And then – discontinued.

Leaving you to feel naked and abandoned.

What woman hasn’t cried out in abject agony at the fragrance counter of Nordstrom’s as she learns, from a perfectly poised and coifed cosmetic salesperson, that the product which enables her to stand tall and meet the day, is no longer. Yes, Borghese I’m talking to you. How could you leave me to fumble through one sickeningly sweet scent after another in search of the illusive spicy sophistication of Di Borghese on which I’d grown so utterly dependent. Brand, my bearded Aunt Nellie – you have nothing to replace it in your line!

And while we’re talking about the cosmetics industry. Have you noticed that the notion of “trial” is completely lost with them? They want to make you happy, so frequently, with a purchase of over “x” amount they bestow upon you a free gift. Always exciting. Usually within those gifts there are one or two lipsticks. Now here’s the catch. If you try the lipstick and hate it, well, they meant well – they did give you a free gift. But the problem arises when you try the lipstick and love it. Because then you use it and go back for a refill. And that’s when they get you – discontinued! About the fifth time that happened to me (yeah, I’m a slow learner) I asked “poised and coifed” “What gives. Aren’t they giving me these free gifts so that I’ll try the shade, fall in love, and buy more?” “No”, she responded, “they’re just getting rid of the discontinued shades that are sitting around in the warehouse.” Give me strength.

What do you think – do we need a support group here? But all kidding aside, here’s my message to you brands: If you expect Brand Loyalty from me – you owe me something. And I get that you can’t build a whole brand around me – but I’m sick of getting left out in the cold. Because if you want me to be loyal to you – start thinking about being loyal to me!