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Oh damn, looks like I’ll have to miss Ad Age’s gala new Small Agency Awards event, I’ll be too busy focusing on the Small Penis Awards followed by the Tiny Tits Gala. What is wrong with them? Why do they think that any agency would enjoy being acknowledged as “Small”? Can they really be that out of touch with anything beyond Madison Avenue? Why not Independent Agencies or Privately Held Agencies? Is there no other word you could think of besides small? But then I guess you didn’t spend a whole hell of a lot of time on the subject. I mean let’s face it there are only two categories in the whole damn show: Best Small Agency and Best Small Agency Campaign. Could they spare it! And, in reality, it’s not much of a show. More like a “contest”. You enter your stuff online and you read, either online or in print, whether or not you’ve won. Yeeehaaaa!

And how, by the way, did they make the determination to honor their puny brethren? Was it years of listening to agencies – with less than 75 employees – complain that Ad Age was dismissing them summarily to focus on every sneeze and fart uttered after lunch at JWT? No. It was a somewhat condescending comment made by a BIG guy at a BIG agency – yes, Bogusky is looking out for his itty bitty friends. He wants to be sure that the industry acknowledges the small guys – even though he hastens to point out that CP&B is “large”. What a guy. But I guess that’s what it takes to get Ad Age to pay any attention to a substantial number of agencies that they’ve deemed unworthy of a blip on their radar screen. Ironically, the only big thing in the new logo is the word SMALL.

One final question. If they’re claiming that “Small is the new Big” then where did those other guys go?

Is the lead headline in AdAge for March 9 & 16. And then they go on to analyze this phenomenon. Is it because there’s a “halo surrounding Ford for passing up federal funds being devoured by Detroit rivals”? Or is it because Ford is “building image in its marketing while others flog incentives”? How about this Sherlock – the American consumer has come to the surprisingly logical and intelligent conclusion that the boys in Detroit may not be overly focused on product quality if their financials are in the crapper. On top of that, in the event that aftermarket service is needed, these flailing icons just might not be here to help if, more probably when, that time should come. How did that possibility not occur to you?

Has the American consumer been reduced to such a demographic statistic in our industry that they could only possibly be responding to company dogma or PR spin? In reality the American consumer consists of people. People who don’t want to commit a large chunk of their hard earned income only to get stuck with an inferior and unreliable product. People who are paying attention to what’s going on around them and making intelligent decisions.

Let’s give the American consumer a little credit. Granted, they’re not getting the full story on any of these companies, Ford included. But they’re taking the information available to them and using it to make cogent and reasonable decisions to the extent that they can. And they’re doing it in numbers great enough to be counted. And that’s the best anyone can be expected to do – even some of the marketing geniuses who analyzed this data in the first place.

Last night I saw a TV spot that seemed vapid and pointless.  Something about driving and musical roads.  I knew it was for the Honda Civic but it didn’t seem to be accomplishing anything.  It hit me as a blatant waste of national advertising dollars in an economy where every dime should be used to generate the maximum ROI – even more so now than usual.  So I came in this morning with the intent purpose of filleting these perpetrators of such flagrant economic irresponsibility.  And then I revisited the spot on YouTube.

I love that musical road.

I want all roads to have music.  To be entertaining and engaging rather than annoying and nerve wracking.  Those “stay awake” striations are always a little unnerving.  Wouldn’t musical vibrations keep us awake just as effectively?  And bravo to Honda for making our lives just that little bit better.  I realized, after completing my ten minute fact finding mission, that I wasn’t watching a TV spot per se – I was watching a very cool strategy begin to unfold.

Honda, the car company, has taken it upon themselves to make our roads sing.  And, even more strategically, the “making of” video proclaims that Honda has always been about “connecting drivers to the road”.  OK that’s a bit of a stretch – but undoubtedly one for the marketing textbooks.  These guys are really doing something cool!  And it’s so strategically on target for their brand.  So why am I worried?

Well, for starters, they’re spending a lot of advertising dollars on what I’ll refer to as their “teaser” ads.  Might be brilliant if timed to perfection- but they’ve got a small window of opportunity – and then they’re just wasting money.  Once we get past that we start to wonder if the whole effort will be predicated on one road in Lancaster, California, or if Honda really intends to change this country’s roadscape.  Can Honda afford to make a notable impact – or will they spearhead the effort and attempt to engage engineers and architects designing our roads and bridges, i.e. where are they going with this?  And finally, is all of this really going to make us buy Honda Civics?  In my case the answer would be, hell no – but in fairness they’re probably not targeting me.  I will certainly be watching for reports on how Civic sales are impacted.  And by God I’ll be rooting for them!